Marie and her Von Heisen Cocoa
Scene 1
Dawn. Two cockroach brothers sit in the corner of a dusty kitchen. Lying on the floor area are a crumbled piece of paper, a soda can, and an assortment of crumbs. HORIMER, the elder of the two, is trancedly brooding while the young BENIZAL rubs his feelers together with apprehensive anticipation.
A cookie jar lies in the far corner of the kitchen, sitting atop a shelf suspended six feet above the ground.
BENIZAL
I think it is going to be the usual for me, brother.
I’ll take a nibble out of that cookie for our dear mother.
HORIMER (with a jolt)
A sacrifice that removes the thrill!
I’m beginning to wonder if you even have the skill.
BENIZAL
Brother Horimer, please refrain if you will.
What thrill could you possess when they’ve the intent to kill?
HORIMER
Remember, young Benizal, that rattling of the bones?
A chill of excitement hiding under the ice cream cones?
BENIZAL
Oh, I do hope with this plan you’ve conceived
I won’t find myself tomorrow hopelessly bereaved!
HORIMER
Nonsense, brother! You have nothing to worry about!
Worse comes to worst, I’ll hide away in the grout!
BENIZAL
Remember, dear brother, what happened to poor Ciosig?
Her conscience was swept like a two-tailed pig!
HORIMER
That wench reeked of a stench so strong
We all knew deep inside that she didn’t have long!
BENIZAL
You don’t understand, Horimer, the power of those creatures
Stalking the days like giants, with the most devilish of features!
HORIMER
Oh, sweet Benizal—don’t you remember our earliest plight?
That constant dance with death, that most miserable fight
Our father desperately scavenging anything in sight
To feed our anguished stomachs by the morning light?
Poor Mother gone missing for many a night
And father crying away his careful might
What more could he do but risk in his fright
And bring us food ‘til he caved to unrepressed smite
Forever estranged from his children and wife?
This is but the cockroach’s life
Spent day to day in danger and strife.
BENIZAL
I understand, though times have changed
That your conviction stems not from a mind helplessly deranged
And there are no words I could have exchanged
To have a safer course of action arranged.
I must explain, however, that I do not condone your behavior
And dearly hope that heaven does not have to find your savior.
Scene 2
Midnight. The kitchen is left untouched, save for a few new crumbs that appeared around midday. BENIZAL and HORIMER are sitting on the kitchen table, hiding behind a lone bottle of soya sauce.
HORIMER (looking up)
Oh, wow! Look at the time—we must act now!
BENIZAL (smiling weakly)
Alright, dear brother, let us begin.
I’ll go off left, and you look therein.
HORIMER (looking down)
But before we begin, Benizal, I am sorry about how stubborn I’ve been
It’s just my excitement, an unavoidable din
The inevitable urge I get to win
A hackling reminder to remember their sin.
But dear brother, please remember that no matter what happens to me
I’ll always love you and would never let you be.
We’re inseparable, Benizal, no matter how much we seem to disagree—
Whenever I leave, a hole forms in my heart
That makes me wish we didn’t have to depart!
But enough from me, sweet brother Benizal.
Let us act upon nature’s apprisal!
BENIZAL (smiling)
I wouldn’t let you go if I thought otherwise, dear brother.
Let us spend this next moment quickly so we can spend together another.
(Benizal scuttles toward the cookie jar, darting along the wall’s bumpy surface. He reaches the jar and attempts to open it, unsuccessfully working the latch.)
Enter MARIE.
(Benizal notices her and hides behind the jar haphazardly, his legs sticking out from behind the jar.)
MARIE (rubbing herself against the wall)
Gosh, I love my cookies and my milk.
Ah, I’m so hungry!
(She opens the pantry, searching for the cookie jar. She notices Benizal’s legs.)
MARIE (salivating profusely)
BOAAHH!!
(She lifts up her hand and slams it on Benizal. He dies.)
Scene 3
Dawn, the next day. HORIMER is returning from his excursion, pulling a thread attached to a piece of bread. He hides it under a cabinet and begins to search for Benizal.
HORIMER
Benizal! Oh, Benizal!
Where art thou Benizal?
(He climbs toward the shelf. A brown lump catches his eye.)
HORIMER
Benizal? Is that you, brother?
(He scurries up to the corpse.)
HORIMER
BENIZAL! No—my dear brother…!
I couldn’t keep my promise, could I? How I have wronged your sacred soul! Benizal, Benizal! This isn’t right! You didn’t deserve this, poor brother…
Pause.
HORIMER
No, no, no! I cannot accept this!
(Horimer rises onto his feet and begins to chant an old cockroach prayer. His body begins to oscillate and his exoskeleton begins to fall off. His vestigial wings begin to enlarge and vibrate at a speed of nineteen kilometers per second. The chanting ceases, and his body begins to change in color, turning from a bitter maroon to a ghastly lavender. Horimer rises off of his feet, his wings still beating with mauve intensity. He becomes HORIMER THE ASCENDED GHOST.)
HORIMER THE ASCENDED GHOST
Murahhh! The umbrella’s come round to a brolly, my friends! In chastised appraisal shall we venture on with eroded acetone, for I am now the drag queen of this palace! My Benizal, rise up! Rise up! My ring shall not secede by the evening light! The illusionary borders that rescind this imaginary pedantry have been ruptured by the volcanic dream that silences my misprision running levorotatory to this river situated right here, but the lavatory stands in the way of my unscathing, Benizal—your soul!
CORPSE OF BENIZAL (spitting)
Impure! Impure! Impure!
HORIMER THE ASCENDED GHOST (with a nasal voice)
Come, now. How’s the brolly?
(Benizal’s corpse pulls out an umbrella from inside its body.)
CORPSE OF BENIZAL (grimacing)
He whomst come here shall suffer!
HORIMER THE ASCENDED GHOST
Whom thought Benizal’ll becometh this garbage? I’ll makest my exit now.
Exeunt HORIMER THE ASCENDED GHOST.
Long pause.
Enter MARIE.
(Marie looks around the kitchen lethargically, eyeing the various pots and pans scattered about. She spots Benizal’s corpse behind the cookie jar and begins to cry.)
MARIE
Come, now, I’ve banished a witch
Cooking with blood and honey, thick and rich
This is my Van Houten cocoa—
I’ve hit my limit!
(Marie explodes.)
CORPSE OF BENIZAL
Horimer!
End.